Last night my father said I was an over thinker. I tend to play out everything in my mind, for the worse, that way when the worst happens, I am prepared.
He said I need to learn to experience life as it happens and to stop worrying myself that way.
I said I would try it, but old habits and all. I sit here thinking about what will happen in the next few days, as the year winds down. I think how my friend will tell me he will be getting married soon or how a miracle will heal my cousin. I think of what my grandmothers once beautiful home looked the last time saw it and what the city is doing to unkept homes. I think of my home and my children. I play out every scenario, usually for the worse, to prepare myself for the bad. I have had a lot badness and a lot of heartbreak and a lot of bad news.
It's going be really hard to change this behavior. Very hard.
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