I have always been in love with the idea of being in love. I plan this never ending perfect love story in my head. But that's all it is, this plan, always playing, in my head. When I think my prayers are answered, I feel like a cruel joke has been played on me. This cruel eternal joke. I was told as a teen by my mother that no one would ever love me. She didn't. Why would I expect anyone else to? Cruel jokes. Not funny.